


Lycanthropy

by Ignaz Wisdom (ignaz)



Category: due South
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-23
Updated: 2007-09-23
Packaged: 2017-10-02 04:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignaz/pseuds/Ignaz%20Wisdom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I think I have a "can't turn down a dare" problem.  Inspired by the chat and viewing party a few weeks back, which included MotB:</p><p>malnpudl: A little bit of arsenic makes your hair grow thicker.<br/>ignazwisdom: where's the fic about that<br/>meres444: Fraser would not be allowed in my lab<br/>ignazwisdom: post-MotB: fraser turns into a werewolf<br/>isiscolorado: Iggy, please write that!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lycanthropy

"Oh ... dear."

"What, what's 'oh dear'?"

Fraser turned his head sharply; his neck made a slight cracking sound. Ray would not be pleased to hear about this. "Well, I seem to be afflicted by one of the seldom discussed side effects of arsenic."

"Fraser, I told you to spit that stuff out! It's poison! Wait, whaddya mean, 'side effects'?"

"I mean this, Ray."

It was a calculated risk. Ray took his eyes off the road for a half-second to look Fraser over, turned them back to the road, then immediately rotated his head forty-five degrees clockwise at a pace so slow that Fraser was certain they'd crash the car before Ray even managed to look at him.

"Holy mother of --"

"Ray, please, the road --"

"Fraser, you're a _werewolf_."

"I really think that's an exaggeration. Ray, the road!"

Ray's head jerked back into a frontward position in time to swerve out of the way of an oncoming truck. He reached across the front seat and pulled the passenger side mirror down.

"Will you _look_ at yourself?"

Fraser looked at himself. He had to admit that the effects of the arsenic were ... distressing. In the course of a few hours he'd grown a rather disconcerting amount of facial hair, which more or less obscured his mouth and jaw. He put a hand to the top of his head. His haircut was in no way regulation. Small tufts of brown hair poked out of the low collar of the shirt he'd borrowed for their drive home. Diefenbaker had begun sniffing at him with fraternal interest.

"You're a _werewolf_, fer Christ's sake!" Ray started muttering. "I told you to spit that stuff out. I told you to spit it out but no, you gotta put _every damn thing_ in your mouth, no matter how weird or gross or poisonous or _werewolf-making_ it is ..."

"Hirsute, Ray. The term is _hirsute_, and I've no doubt it's a temporary condition --"

"You never listen! You never listen, Fraser, and then you gotta use stupid words like _hirsute_ when all you mean is _hairy_ just to –- to obscure the point!"

"Ray --"

"I love you, okay?!"

Fraser went silent. Ray went furious, apparently, pounding his open hand on the steering wheel and scrunching his face up.

When Ray's fit had passed, Fraser cleared his throat and said, with only minor difficulty, "And I you, Ray."

"Great," Ray said, sounding completely miserable. "Figures."

"I don't understand --"

"The hair's a problem. I liked you when you looked like _you_. I know some guys go for that -- uh, that bear look -– but not me, Frase." He looked nervously at Fraser out of the corner of his eye.

"Well, actually, Ray, I think you were right the first time when you described it as more of a lupine growth pattern. Bears --"

"Fraser, would you please work with me here?!"

"Yes, Ray."

"'Yes, Ray,'" Ray scoffed quietly.

"You know," Fraser said in his most pacifying tone, "I do own a razor."

"Yeah."

"And I assure you, the -- er, _accelerated_ hair growth will wear off."

"Yeah."

"So I don't believe that this will serve as any barrier to ..."

"Yeah, yeah. Really?"

"Really," Fraser said, and put a reassuring, hairy-knuckled hand on Ray's knee.


End file.
